1. Went to the library, borrowed a Playboy (circa 1978) and asked the clerk what isle I would find the hand lotion in
2. Had a toasted turkey, no cheese, 6″ sub from Subway for the 263rd straight visit
4. Took Hank out for birfday brews and grub
5. Crafted a working vibrator from leftover lego
6. Sang a wicked rendition of “Silent Night”, followed by the theme song from “The Facts of Life” while cleansing in the tub
7. Sent an email to William Shatner’s publicist, asked if Bill could come camping this weekend
8. Triggered road rage during motorcycle traffic class by fingering some old lady and screaming into my helmet to “Get off the %^#^%$ road ya old crout!” Unfortunately the visor was down… nobody heard me
9. Bid on The Clapper on eBay
10. Attempted to convince a waitress that picking hives at the dinner table was not rude, nor unsanitary