1. Loaded up on Neo Citran, then ran topless through Flowers, Flowers, Flowers while singing I’ve had the time of my life
2. Traded some 4 year old sucka my motorbike for his bigwheel straight up
3. Unsuccessfully held a poo in after 5 bowls of Raisin Bran
4. Rolled up the rim to win
5. Attempted (for the 5th time) to make shortbread cookies; this time using nothing more than Cucumber face mask, some wall filler and 173 of those colored litebrite peg thingies
6. Farted in a tupperware, sealed it and released it at midnight
7. Changed my name to Hank Pitt
8. Sprinkled toenail clippings over my banana split, pretending they were coconut shavings
9. Slipped an ear of corn into my “ouch place”, later smuggled it through the grocery checkout
10. Realized, Barks DOES have bite

1. Showered aggressively, slipped a finger into an “ouch-place” by accident
2. Drove back and forth by a KFC 5 times just cuz it smells so damn good
3. Looked up Canoe racks for a 97′ 4dr Toyota Corolla
4. Attempted to clean myself like a cat
5. Used the line “How you doin?” on not one but four bank tellers, sadly to no avail
6. Bellowed “Pour Some Sugar On Me” while stopped at a light, noticed an old couple laughing and pointing next to me
7. Yacked up a hairball under the diningroom table like a cat
8. Applied for work at Subway
9. Shaved my head like Montel hoping to remain ageless for 20 years
10. Found $1,000,000 while cleaning my bathroom