1. Showered aggressively, slipped a finger into an “ouch-place” by accident
2. Drove back and forth by a KFC 5 times just cuz it smells so damn good
3. Looked up Canoe racks for a 97′ 4dr Toyota Corolla
4. Attempted to clean myself like a cat
5. Used the line “How you doin?” on not one but four bank tellers, sadly to no avail
6. Bellowed “Pour Some Sugar On Me” while stopped at a light, noticed an old couple laughing and pointing next to me
7. Yacked up a hairball under the diningroom table like a cat
8. Applied for work at Subway
9. Shaved my head like Montel hoping to remain ageless for 20 years
10. Found $1,000,000 while cleaning my bathroom