the daily rumpy pumpy

Goodbye CBC, hello TSN

As far as I’m concerned, the bigwigs over at CBC Sports have done yet another injustice to their sports programming that, in my opinion, continues their decent as a viable programming option on TV today.

First with the firing of Chris Cuthbert, then the loss of the CFL and now losing their staple Hockey Night in Canada theme, about all that’ll keep me coming back is future Canuck game coverage and 2008 Olympic events (they lost out on the 2010 and 2012 games to Bell and Rogers respectively).

Boy, Scott Moore really has his finger on the pulse that is target demographic and viewership interest.

Personally, I could care less who holds the rights to the Hockey Theme. While not larger than the game itself, the theme’s as close to a national anthem as we could get. It is, in my opinion, synonymous with hockey before any particular network.

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Linden retirement interview?

On the way to work this AM, I was listening to the TEAM 1040 and the following segment includes about 17mins worth of Trevor goodness:

Download interview (right click to save)

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2 of last 3 seasons

Well, I guess boating season is coming sooner than later. 11 seconds ago the Canucks lost a “must-win” game which translates into missing yet another post-season run.

Damn for damn.

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My face, their balls

At its simplest level, Faceball involves two people hitting beachballs at each other’s faces. At a deeper level, it’s a vehicle for the release of personal animosity, and the Shaming of the Weak.

Damn for damn I wanna play!

Jug

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Thank god its over

Was anyone really interested in this year’s Stanley Cup finals? Out west, I don’t know any true BC’er that would even reluctantly cheer for any team from Ontario. And Anaheim? I mean they’re practically Canadian with something like 19 players, but why cheer for an American team when they only average a 500,000 person TV viewership nationwide? What’s the point?

Granted I love hockey, but in the summer time, there’s got to be something or someone to cheer for and this year didn’t offer anything in my opinion (and with viewership down 22% from a year ago, apparently I’m not the only one).

I guess I can take comfort knowing its the first time a west coast team has won the cup since the Victoria Cougars (then of the WCHL) beat the Montreal Canadians back in 1925, some 82 years.

Thanks for “bringin’ it home boys”.

Jug

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Helpful hockey tips for Canucks fans who jump on and off the bandwagon

Note: *pay particular attention to the “Don’t Taunt Toronto Maple Leafs Fans” section please*

The road for the Vancouver Canucks may (or may not) lead to the Stanley Cup.
I know you want to support your favourite hockey franchise to the bitter end. That’s the popular thing to do, as long as the team is winning. But disappointment, failed expectations, and recurring doubt make it difficult for Joe (or Jane) Canuck to have complete and utter faith in their hockey club. In fact, it’s perfectly natural to want to abandon your team when your gut tells you they’re going to lose. It’s called “jumping off the bandwagon.”

Bandwagon jumping helps minimize the hurt when things become difficult. Like sidestepping a Todd Bertuzzi check instead of taking the hit, bandwagon-jumping can help reduce the pain.

And bandwagons are wonderful things. You can jump on them and off them as many times as you like. There’s no rule, and there’s no real consequence to your actions. However, your hockey-savvy community is able to recognize the bandwagon jumpers, and they tend to frown upon those who keep changing their team loyalties.

So to help minimize the effects of bandwagon-jumping and help preserve your own integrity, here are some helpful suggestions to help disguise your bandwagon-jumping practices.

Wear Reversible Team Jerseys
Get your mother to sew an opposing team’s jersey inside of your Vancouver Canucks jersey. If the team loses the game that night and you start to despair, simply remove the jersey and turn inside-out. No one will ever notice that you changed sides. If the Canucks win the next game, turn it back outside-right. Remember, flip-flopping is a natural reaction when your team fails to win.

Wear Team Canada Clothing
Wearing Team Canada apparel shows that you support the game of hockey, regardless of the team. And no matter who wins, there will always be Canadians on that team! You can celebrate a Canucks victory or defeat without embarassment. Wearing Team Canada apparel is neutral…like Switzerland…but that doesn’t mean you should wear Swiss apparel. That’s just wrong. (Sorry Martin Gerber).

Don’t Wear Facepaint
If you’re a Vancouver Canucks hockey fan, it’s hard to resist putting on the blue, green, and white make-up (or the silver, blue, burgundy, white), showing the city how much you love your team. But if you’re going to jump off the bandwagon, it’s difficult to quickly and easily remove all that paint from your face. Instead of wearing Canucks facepaint, instead wear a cheap plastic Kirk McLean goalie mask that can be easily disposed of when the team loses. No one will ever know who you were cheering for that night.

Don’t Taunt Toronto Maple Leafs Fans
It’s perfectly natural for hockey fans to tease those who love the Toronto Maple Leafs. In fact it’s usually encouraged. But if you’re worried about being branded as a bandwagon-jumper, you must be a little more cautious if you’re going to taunt Bud-lovers. Toronto fans never forgive, and they never forget (like when they last won the Stanley Cup back in 1967). If you ever jump off the bandwagon, the first people to remind you of your team’s failures, and your own character weaknesses will be Maple Leafs fans.

Minimize Your Team Support At Work
If you cover your workstation with Canucks flags, posters, and newspaper clippings, it’s difficult to be an effective bandwagon-jumper. First you have to remove all of your Canucks adornments, and deal with the disdain of your co-workers. If you’re going to jump, keep it simple and just maintain a Vancouver Canucks screensaver or background wallpaper on your work computer–something that can easily be removed or restored when necessary.

Don’t Overdress Your Vehicle In Canucks Team Colours
The more stickers and decals you place on your car, the harder it is to remove them. Instead of slapping a ton of Vancouver Canucks bumper stickers on your fenders, opt for those cheap Canucks team flags. These can easily be put away if you decide that you can no longer support a team that can’t score on a power-play. And, they can just as easily be re-attached to your window when the Canucks win game #2 and your team confidence is restored.

As a bandwagon-jumper, it’s important to have a plan in place, whether the Canucks win or lose. If they go all the way and win the Stanley Cup, you’ll enjoy the winning feeling as much as the truly committed fan. But if they let you down, like the 2003 team that blew the 3-1 series lead against the Minnesota Wild, at least you have something left to criticize those overpaid, under-achieving floaters who stole a little piece of your heart

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Leafs defeat Bruins

The Toronto Maple Leafs kept their flickering playoff hopes alive with a 5-4 shootout win over the Boston Bruins at home on Tuesday night.

Darcy Tucker, Toronto’s second shooter, scored the only goal of the shootout, deking and slipping the puck past Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas.

Leafs goalie Mikael Tellqvist stopped Marco Sturm, Boston’s final shooter, to seal the victory for Toronto.
With the win, the Leafs moved to seven points behind the idle Montreal Canadiens, who hold the eighth playoff spot in the NHL’s Eastern Conference. Boston is 11 points behind Montreal.

Mats Sundin led Toronto on Tuesday night with two goals and an assist. Jason Allison and Bryan McCabe also tallied for the Leafs, who have earned seven of a possible eight points in their last four games.

“It wasn’t an easy game, we gave up a lot defensively,” said Sundin, who tallied his second two-goal game in four contests after failing to record a multi-goal game in his first 47 games this season. “But (Tellqvist) gave us a chance to win, and he won it for us in the end in the shootout.”

Sturm had two goals for the Bruins, with Glen Murray and Marty Reasoner adding the others.
Boston led 4-2 late in the second period before the Leafs scored a pair of goals 35 seconds apart, both with a five-on-three advantage, to tie the game.

Tellqvist, making his second consecutive start in place of the injured Ed Belfour, stopping 28 of 32 shots.
Belfour is day to day with a back injury, according to the team.

Toronto, which plays seven of its next eight games on the road, visits the streaking Buffalo Sabres on Thursday.

Ps…….Yeeeeee Haaawww!!! Here we come baby. Comeback trail.
RELATED: Bruins-Leafs box score

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Canucks shore up in needed areas

Trade deadline came and went at noon PST today, and my good ol’ Canucks were one of the busiest teams. Looks good on Nonis considering our top 3 D and #1 goalie are on the shelf with injuries.

Players acquired today:
———————–
- Mika Noronen (goalie from Buffalo)
- Keith Carney (defenceman from Anaheim)
- Juha Alen (defenceman from Anaheim)
- Sean Brown (defenceman from New Jersey)
- Eric Weinrich (defenceman from St. Louis)

Players dealt today:
——————–
- Brent Skinner
- Tomas Mojzis
- Steve McCarthy

In addition, a few draft picks switched back and forth.

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20 scariest movies of all time!

THE SHINING (1980)
Kubrick’s adaptation of Stephen King’s novel about the Torrance family’s headlong plunge into insanity during a secluded Colorado winter remains better known for its T-shirt quotables (”Heeeere’s Johnny!” “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy”) than as a beautiful and pleasing horror film. It’s a shame. With a haunting score, luscious, near-eternal Steadicam shots, and Jack Nicholson’s grand pirouette into murderous madness at its heart, it’s one of the most artful horror films in history. Not everyone, of course, thinks so. King was famously put off by the adaptation, remarking, “I think [Kubrick] wants to hurt people with this movie.” (He made his own six-hour TV version in 1997.)

THE EXORCIST (1973)
A cat unexpectedly jumping from off camera is scary. But The Exorcist is so disturbing it will mess you up for months. Controversial and profane, The Exorcist remains the most viscerally harrowing movie ever made, not only because it dares to question the existence of God but because it has the cojones to put Satan in the body of a 12-year-old girl. Moviegoers literally fainted as Linda Blair vomited pea soup on a priest. And after a series of mishaps, Friedkin asked a clergyman to perform an exorcism of the set. “A lot of people definitely thought something weird was happening,” says Blair, “but I was so young they tried to keep me in the dark.” Consider yourself blessed, Linda.

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
Truth is stranger than fiction…and it’s a hell of a lot scarier, too. Based (like much of Psycho) on the horrific ritual murders committed by Ed Gein, Chainsaw looks, feels, and smells so much like a grainy, low-budget documentary that it borders on snuff. It opens with a sober-voiced narrator (a young John Larroquette) detailing a heinous killing spree. Then we see the split-second flashbulb pops of crime-scene carnage before finally meeting Leatherface — a homicidal lunatic wearing a butcher’s apron and a mask stitched out of human skin. Hooper (Poltergeist) says that when he settled on the film’s title, “I lost several friends. But I thought, they’re putting so much energy into hating the title, maybe there’s something there.” Indeed there is; a copy of Chainsaw resides in the Museum of Modern Art.

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti…fpt-fpt-fpt.” Released only one year into the ’90s, Silence would remain the decade’s scariest vision of pure sociopathic evil. As Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Anthony Hopkins is a waking nightmare of seductive depravity — the sick, twisted serial killer America hates to love. Even with Hannibal the Cannibal safely locked away in his maximum-security cell, Jodie Foster’s FBI trainee Clarice Starling is as helpless as a lamb. “Great villains are subversive — audiences go and see them because they feel uncomfortably attracted to them,” says Scott Glenn, who plays Starling’s seen-it-all FBI mentor in Silence. “To this day I still have nightmares about it.” Join the club.

JAWS (1975)
“Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in about three feet of water?” When this doom-drenched gem — the highest-grossing film on our list — hit theaters, it gave new meaning to the phrase red tide. Weeks over schedule and dizzyingly over budget, Jaws caused Spielberg more than his share of headaches — especially due to his temperamental star. No, not Richard Dreyfuss, but Bruce, the 24-foot-long malfunctioning animatronic great white named after Spielberg’s lawyer. “The fact that the shark didn’t work was an artistic blessing in disguise,” says Spielberg. “It forced me to be Hitchcockian.” It’s true — Jaws is terrifying not for the few times we see the shark treating Amity’s vacationers like a Red Lobster smorgasbord, but for those sharkless moments of fear and trembling as we wait for Bruce to feed again.

HALLOWEEN (1978)
Forget the string of half-baked, nonsensical sequels. Disregard the slew of cruddy, uninspired slasher imitators like Friday the 13th. The original Halloween is, was, and ever shall be the alpha and omega of bogeyman flicks. It also remains one of the most profitable indie films of all time — costing a mere $300,000 and pulling in more than $55 million. The influence of Psycho(”It’s the granddaddy of all horror movies,” says Carpenter) is everywhere — from the tiniest details (Donald Pleasence’s Dr. Sam Loomis is named after Janet Leigh’s boyfriend in Psycho) to the casting of Jamie Lee Curtis as Halloween’s shrieking heroine and babysitter in peril. “It didn’t hurt that Janet Leigh was her mom,” says Carpenter, “because everyone’s a fan of Psycho.” And Halloween.

PSYCHO (1960)
A charter member of the scary movie hall of fame (and don’t even think of judging Psycho based on Gus Van Sant’s remake). Many of its most renowned features are readily apparent: those startling cuts (more than 50 in the shower sequence alone), Anthony Perkins’ neurotic mama’s boy, Bernard Herrmann’s shrieking-violins score. But Psycho’s sneakiest tricks manifest themselves more subtlely. Take Hitchcock’s decision to use a handful of different stabbers in Janet Leigh’s slice-and-dice sequence: “He kept changing it so the audience wouldn’t be able to get a fix on Mother,” Leigh, who spent seven days in that shower, told EW in 1999. “At one point it was Tony’s stand-in, at one point it was a woman. Never Tony.” Bottom line: It still works.

SEVEN (1995)
From the jittery, scratched celluloid of its opening credits onward, Seven oozes more apocalyptic doom and deranged creativity than any Brad Pitt movie has a right to. Before this film came out, gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, wrath, pride, and lust were just intangible words uttered in Sunday school. But by Seven’s closing credits, the deadly sins have become the gruesome MO of a revelations-spouting serial killer so out of his gourd that he shaves off the tips of his fingers to avoid leaving prints. From its bleak, rainy setting to an unshakably grim finale, Seven is so nihilistic and disturbing it’s hard to fathom how it ever got greenlit. We mean that as a compliment.

ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968)
More conspiracy thriller than horror movie, Baby nurses a mother lode of phobias. As Rosemary (Mia Farrow) slowly intuits she’s been raped by Satan, she wrestles a myriad of believable demons: uncaring doctors, intrusive neighbors (primarily Ruth Gordon, who copped an Oscar), and a monstrously self-centered husband (John Cassavetes). Farrow’s alarming enactment of emaciated desperation got a spur from then husband Frank Sinatra’s offscreen behavior: She was devastated when he initiated a divorce in mid-production. Meanwhile, Charles Grodin’s turn as a chilly obstetrician made him an unpopular dinner guest. “When I sat, women moved,” he says. “I had to go on Johnny Carson to show people I’m a nice guy.”

POLTERGEIST (1982)
Based on a story by Steven Spielberg, Poltergeist was released just one week before E.T., and it seemed like the latter movie’s evil twin. Both were tales of suburban California families whose lives are upended by otherworldly invaders, but while E.T. seemed a Christian parable of death and resurrection, Poltergeist had a more sinister take on the afterlife. Its haunted house was a piece of the American dream literally built on a corrupt foundation, a graveyard full of unsettled ghosts. Even the film’s most benign elements — the toys in the closet, blond moppet Carol Ann (Heather O’Rourke), and kindly medium Tangina Barrons (Zelda Rubinstein) — seemed full of ominous dread. That three of the franchise’s stars suffered untimely deaths led to talk of an offscreen curse, which surviving cast members dismiss and refuse to discuss, but which makes the film that much creepier.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984)
The screen debut of the character who gave striped sweaters a bad name, Nightmare introduces a suburban monster who stalks teens while they sleep. Craven makes the most banal aspects of adolescence hellish, whether it’s turning the sanctity of childhood bedrooms into murder zones or a phone into a demonic tongue. (And “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…” irrevocably changed the way we feel about playground chants.) Freddy eventually turned into an all-too-jokey shadow of himself — but there’s nothing funny about him in this first installment. Bonus: A young Johnny Depp gets eaten alive by a bed.

THE THING (1982)
A loose remake of Howard Hawks’ 1951 sci-fi Cold War allegory, Carpenter’s Thing isn’t concerned with messages; it’s just a terrifying meditation on paranoia and subzero dread as a group of scientists at the South Pole (led by Kurt Russell) is infiltrated by an alien that assumes the bodies of its victims in very messy ways. And despite its many gross-out F/X, no moment in the movie is more unsettling than watching cuddly Quaker Oatmeal pitchman Wilford Brimley go insane. Carpenter is frankly surprised by the film’s latter-day esteem. “When The Thing was released,” he says, “it was one of the most hated movies of all time.” Time to set the record straight.

THE EVIL DEAD (1982)
Before he was the webmaster of the Spider-Man franchise, Sam Raimi was a college dropout with $385,000 and a nightmare. Plotwise, The Evil Dead is just your basic “kids at a remote cabin in the woods foolishly read forbidden book and unleash demons” movie. But the result was a template for a generation of horror filmmakers, thanks to the wry Bruce Campbell (as “Ash” Williams, in the performance that made him a cult horror hero), those predatory trees, and Raimi’s wickedly inventive direction. The furiously racing tracking shots came from what Raimi dubbed “the Shaky-Cam,” a camera mounted on a two-by-four carried by two operators who would run like hell when Raimi yelled, “Action!” As he told EW, “When we made Evil Dead, I wanted [viewers] to jump and scream and feel my wrath!” We’re still feeling it.

CARRIE (1976)
De Palma’s adaptation of Stephen King’s first novel is set in the lurid, oversexed world of high school, where persecuted telekinetic Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) transcends catty rivals and a psychotically religious mother (Piper Laurie) to become prom queen — only to be doused in pig’s blood, go on a murderous rampage, and kill just about everyone. “I got tricked into doing [Carrie],” says Laurie, who, like Spacek, won an Oscar nomination. “It seemed so over-the-top, I thought it was going to be a satire. When De Palma stopped me in rehearsals, my heart just dropped. Whoops!” Pioneering moment: the best final scare ever. Period.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
The horror movie whose zombie escapades inspired a thousand more, Dead was filmed in black and white for about $100,000, some of which was reportedly contributed by lead actor Russell Streiner. Although the film, about radiation-poisoned corpses on the hunt for fresh meat, was made on the cheap (any flub in the sound was covered with the chirping of crickets), the total gross has been estimated to be as high as $50 million. Because of legal problems with the original distributor, the filmmakers saw only a tiny fraction of the grosses, inspiring a remake in 1990. Stick with the original — the Blair Witch Project of its day.

THE OMEN (1976)
Someday, an enterprising film student will write a master’s thesis on why the Nixon-Ford era spawned the cinematic unholy trinity of Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, and The Omen. Until then, let’s just picture the last of those demon seeds, Damien (Harvey Stephens) — the tiny Antichrist with the 666 devil sign on his scalp — maniacally pedaling his tricycle and knocking Lee Remick over the second-floor railing to the menacing strains of “Ave Satani.” “That boy was putty to direct…just a dream,” says Donner, who adds, “A lot of people were afraid to see The Omen because The Exorcist scared the s— out of them so much.” It’s their loss, because when we picture Damien’s nanny hanging herself while screaming, “Damien, it’s all for you!” we still get freaked out.

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
Poor David Naughton. He seems to be starring in a madcap romantic comedy as an American backpacker who woos lovely British nurse Jenny Agutter. But then his zombie pal Griffin Dunne keeps reappearing, each time in a state of further decomposition, warning David that he must commit suicide before he becomes a werewolf at the next full moon. What a buzz kill. The movie’s blend of comedy and horror isn’t always successful, and its ending seems abrupt, but its scary parts are certainly scream-worthy. The werewolf attacks, shot from the predator’s point of view, are chillers, but best is Naughton’s excruciating, horrifyingly realistic transformation scene, maybe the best in any werewolf movie. (Credit goes to makeup ace Rick Baker, who reteamed with director John Landis to effect similarly scary changes on Michael Jackson’s face in the “Thriller” video.) If little else in the film keeps you awake nights, that scene certainly will.

HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (1990)
One of those horror movies where the low budget actually helps — lending a rough, documentary look to the proceedings — Henry follows the titular character and his hee-haw partner in homicide, Otis, on a spree that includes one nightmarish scene in which the two murder a helpless family, then sit back to watch a videotape of the crime. “Once I was late for a screening and bumped into a lady running away from the movie,” says Michael Rooker (Henry), “and she ran smack into me and just screamed and screamed!” Little-known fact: McNaughton based Henry (in part) on both real-life killer Henry Lee Lucas and Thomas Harris’ fictional Francis Dolarhyde from Red Dragon.

THE HITCHER (1986)
“My mother told me never to do this,” says the young driver (C. Thomas Howell), stopping to pick up a handsome hitchhiker (Rutger Hauer). Once again, Mother knows best: Hauer’s seductive psychopath spends the next 90 minutes terrorizing the boy and his sidekick, played by the deliciously blond Jennifer Jason Leigh. “People [say] it’s a violent movie, but I don’t know what they mean,” says Hauer, apparently forgetting his finely delivered line “Wanna know what happens to an eyeball when it gets punctured?” The Hitcher will make you rethink those vacation plans to travel across country.

LOST HIGHWAY (1997)
Can we hear a shout-out for a Lost Highway rerelease? A living-room viewing doesn’t do justice to the terrifying Angelo Badalamenti-Trent Reznor soundtrack in Lynch’s noirish head trip about a hip L.A. couple (Bill Pullman and Patricia Arquette) who discover that someone is videotaping them as they sleep. In the film’s creepiest scene, a man with no eyebrows, hauntingly played by Robert Blake (!), introduces himself to Pullman at a party and announces that he’s also standing miles away in Pullman’s house at that very moment. When our disbelieving hero places a phone call and realizes the guy’s not kidding, you’ve got to chuckle to keep from losing your mind.

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Canada fan wins $1m with 50-yard kick

TORONTO, Ontario (AP) — Brian Diesbourg has a million-dollar leg.

After missing field goal tries from 20, 30 and 40 yards, the 25-year-old mechanical engineer from Belle River connected from 50 yards at halftime of the Toronto-Hamilton CFL game Thursday night to win $1 million Canadian ($853,351 U.S.).

“It’s unbelievable,” said Diesbourg, a longtime soccer player who had never kicked a football before a practice session for the event.

“When it left my foot I was hoping it went left because I just missed the first three to the right. On the last kick, I purposely kicked it to the left hoping it would even itself out and it did.”

Diesbourg was selected from nearly 200,000 online entries in a contest sponsored by Wendy’s. He attempted four kicks for a variety of prizes, including $1 million for a successful 50-yard try.

After missing wide right from 20, 30 and 40 yards, Diesbourg hit the ball true on the 50-yarder and it had just enough distance to get over the crossbar for the big money. He was mobbed by members of the Argos as they returned to the field.

He had a a 30-minute practice session Wednesday with Argos kicker Noel Prefontaine.

“For him to miss the first three and to come back and hit the last one is unbelievable.” Prefontaine said. “I think he’s going to get a trial [with a CFL team].

“Having had the opportunity to work with him he did show he had the leg strength. I think his soccer background really helped him. I thought he had a legitimate shot.”

Diesbourg will be paid $25,000 a year for 40 years.

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