This is the greatest Photoshop trick ever!
How To Draw The Nipples Back On Victoria’s Secret Models
Published on Dec 17th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
Oh shit, this is %^#*$ hilarious
Published on Nov 26th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
Jesus christ I lost it when I started playing around with this page.
This page my friends is what makes the Internet a happy place:
http://www.sr.se/cgi-bin/p1/src/sing/default.asp
Enter something like “I want to lick and suck your penis”. Damn…
BTW, there are some words not listed in their DB, but most I tried are ;-)
It’s an oldie but a goodie!!
Published on Nov 13th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
First time I heard this I damn near pissed myself.
It stayed funny for a coupla of weeks.
This time…….it brought a smile to my face :)
And then there’s this one………I still laugh at it.
Score 1 for us guys!
Published on Nov 9th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bill asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Bill asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you said, “Lady leave me alone, I’m married’!”
Taking things into our own hands.
Published on Nov 8th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
Finally building the nerve to do to one of my machines what we all secretly want done to them at one point or another, Djin and I released a little stress Wednesday by opening a can of whoop ass on this piece of shit IBM ThinkPad laptop (herein referred to as “lappy”) I bought used from this shady looking guy on the back of a truck about 8 months ago.
In this situation, we felt an axe to be a suitable can opener :-)
Granted, I wasn’t expecting lappy to be a screaming rocket ship for the 20,684.57 yen ($250 CDN) I paid for her, but my regular laptop unexpectedly and inconveniently shit itself; requiring immediate, inexpensive resolution.
I figured lappy would do until I made my way into an electronics store 32 pay-days down the road but damn!!!! She was a hunk ‘o junk from the get go.
As I weep while writing this… I have a warm feeling in my heart knowing she is finally where she belongs; the compost pile in the back yard.
Who knows, maybe in another year or so I will pull out my McGyver costume from 1986, suit up, dig it out of all the dog shit and decomposing grass and duck-tape it back together.
Hmm, now that I think of it, it was a Cylon uniform from Battlestar Gallactica.
Farewell lappy, farewell indeed.
Watch the streaming footage now!
LILEKS (James) :: Peculiar Ads
Published on Nov 7th, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
LILEKS (James) :: Peculiar Ads
Yes, Arsenic wafers, *nods head*, yes, we have come a long way haven’t we.
This just in…
Published on Oct 23rd, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to a man with rugged masculine features. And if she is menstruating, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his rear while he is on fire.
Further studies are expected.
The Associated Press
10.19.03
A medical memoir…
Published on Oct 3rd, 2003 by JasonShare your comments
Dear Preperation H,
I ate this whole dang tube, I still got these hemeroids. Man, my mouth’s so small now I can’t even eat a jelly bean anymore. But I can whistle real good.
Yours truly,
Undisclosed
