TOP THINGS OVERHEARD AT THE G8 SUMMIT

–Someone please take the sake away from the Japanese Prime Minister before he discovers we’ve got “Baby Got Back” on the karaoke machine.

–Look, I’ll pledge my entire nation’s GDP to combat global warming. Just as long as I don’t have to watch Al Gore’s documentary again.

–Is it just me, or does the Canadian Prime Minister look like a human snake?

–I understand it’s a big issue back in Japan, Mr. Prime Minister. But I think you’re the only one who supports the creation of an International Godzilla Defense Force.

–Why don’t Bush and Putin stop all this aggressive tension and just have sex already?

–Does that Harper guy keep calling your hotel room and ask what you’re wearing?

–I love the smell of absolute power in the morning.

–I know President Bush is snoring over there, but don’t bother him because he’ll threaten war with anyone who wakes him up.

–Turn up the air conditioning so I can concentrate on this global warming crap.

–Canada is a forward thinking country with green values, an environmental conscience, and really, REALLY potent weed.

–So, what do y’all think of Paris in prison, Lindsay in rehab and Britney’s big comeback?