Female Prayer:

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep. One who’s handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks, one who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to “How big is my behind?” I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.

Amen.

Male Prayer:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a fishing boat. This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a shit.

Amen.