10. Your saddle is Versace
9. Instead of “Home On The Range,” you sing “It’s Raining Men”
8. You enjoy ridin’, ropin’, and redecoratin’
7. You sold your livestock to buy tickets to Mamma Mia
6. After watching reruns of Gunsmoke, you have to take a cold shower
5. Native Americans refer to you as “Dances With Men”
4. You’ve been lassoed more times than most steers
3. You’re wearing chaps, yet your “ranch” is in Chelsea
2. Instead of a saloon, you prefer a salon
1. You love riding, but you don’t have a horse.

* Used without permission from CBS Studios, Worldwide Pants and David Letterman.

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