Green Smarties or Red?

Sleep; Naked or PJ’s?

Yeah I’m hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye. But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don’t shine. ‘Cause I’m kind of like Han Solo always strokin’ my own Wookiee. I’m the root of all that’s evil yeah but you can call me Cookie.

Sluts need love too.

I wonder if edible panties come in Licorice gumdrop flavour?

My bum itches.

Is it…The glass in half full or…the glass is half empty.

Bailey Bailey Bow Bailey Banana Fanna Fo Failey Fee Fie Fow Bailey……Bailey!

A Gay, A Drunk, and a Greedy Jew all die and go to heaven. There they are met by St. Peter, who informs them that they are not in the book. It has been a mix-up and that they were taken before their time was up. But with no other options he must to send them back, but only if they agree upon one condition each. Without giving it a moments thought, the three men agree.

St. Peter turns to the gay man and says, “Look buddy, you gotta stop doing that gay stuff. It’s totally wrong and God doesn’t want any of that funny stuff goin on around here. If you do it one more time we’re bringing you back, ok pal?”

The gay man heartily agrees just happy be given a chance to go back.

He proceeds to the drunk man and says, “You’ve got to stop drinking. You go near it again….Forget that, you even think about drinking again, your comin back too. Ok?”

The drunk man agrees, just as heartily.

Finally we comes to the greedy jew. “Listen pal, share the wealth. You have more than enough money to go around. If I see you ever act greedy again, your up here too. Got it?”

He agrees too.

After he has taken their promises, he snaps his fingers, and in a cloud of smoke they disappear only to find themselves on Earth again.

The trio start walking down the street discussing what they had just experienced. After awhile they happen upon a bar. The three men stop. The drunk man can see all his buddies inside roaring it up and havin a ball. He puts his hand on the door not thinking about what he’s doing and POOF, he disappears.

The other two men stand there in disbelief. They can’t believe just how serious St. Peter was. They carry on worried about what just happened. Just then the greedy jew sees a $100 bill laying on the ground. He bends over to pick it up and…

POOF there goes The Gay.

I don’t understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker — maybe a 12 pack on weekends.

Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery shopping and after noticing the receipt, I saw $45 in makeup.

I said, “Wait a minute, I’ve given up beer and you haven’t given up anything!”

She said, “I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you.”

I told her, “Hell, that’s what the beer was for!”

It’s your first time.

As you lie back your muscles tighten.

You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely.

He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he’s done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance.

You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.

He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful.

Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.

He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.

He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist.

After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Darren McGavin was painting a movie set in 1945 when he learned of an opening for a small role in the show, climbed off his ladder, and returned through Columbia’s front gates to land the part.

The husky, tough-talking performer went on to become one of the busiest actors in television and film, starring in five TV series, including “Mike Hammer,” and endearing holiday audiences with his role as the grouchy dad in the 1983 comedy classic “A Christmas Story.”

McGavin, 83, died Saturday of natural causes at a Los Angeles-area hospital with his family at his side, said his son Bogart McGavin.

McGavin also had leading roles in TV’s “Riverboat” and cult favorite “Kolchak: The Night Stalker.” Among his memorable portrayals was U.S. Army Gen. George Patton in the 1979 TV biography “Ike.”

Despite his busy career in television, McGavin was awarded only one Emmy: in 1990 for an appearance as Candice Bergen’s opinionated father in an episode of “Murphy Brown.”

He lacked the prominence in films he enjoyed in television, but he registered strongly in featured roles such as the young artist in Venice in “Summertime,” David Lean’s 1955 film with Katharine Hepburn and Rosanno Brazzi; Frank Sinatra’s crafty drug supplier in “The Man with the Golden Arm” (1955); Jerry Lewis’s parole officer in “The Delicate Delinquent” (1957); and the gambler Gus Sands in 1984’s “The Natural” that starred Robert Redford.

He also starred alongside Don Knotts, who died Friday night, in the 1976 family comedy “No Deposit, No Return.”

Throughout his television career, McGavin gained a reputation as a curmudgeon willing to bad-mouth his series and combat studio bosses.

McGavin starred in the private eye series “Mike Hammer” in the 1950s. In 1968 he told a reporter: “Hammer was a dummy. I made 72 of those shows, and I thought it was a comedy. In fact, I played it camp. He was the kind of guy who would’ve waved the flag for [Alabama Gov.] George Wallace.”

He is survived by his four children — York, Megan, Bridget and Bogart — from a previous marriage to Melanie York McGavin, Bogart McGavin said. McGavin was separated from his second wife, Kathy Brown, he said.

Another fine day boarding on the mountain. Linking turns, doing jumps and teachin a bud what is fresh in my mind from my instructor sessions but a month or so ago (I have to say Mokapey is kickin’ it old school homie).

Pics:
complete album

Vids:

No, we are NOT a couple! I hear he’s more of a selfish “receiver” than “giver” in the sack.

Jug

P.S. Sorry for the pic/vid quality. These were all taken with the ol’ PDA.

P.P.S. No animals were hurt or inappropriately touched in the making of these films (it wasn’t cold enough).

Hey y’all…

While Djin has gone the way of the dodo, I have acquired a less knowledgeable, but more flamboyantly absurd counterpart to assist with regular DRP blog posts.

Mokapey, we welcome you.

Jug

(You are so dead)

Google launched on Thursday a service that lets people create their own Web pages hosted by the Internet giant.

Google Page Creator, which is in beta, has sample layouts and lets people type in content, upload images and publish their pages, without knowing HTML. People can create multiple linked pages and are allowed 100MB of storage on the service.

The free service requires a Gmail account and supports either Internet Explorer 6.0 or Firefox 1.0, or higher.

With Page Creator, the company has drawn a distinction between Web sites and Web pages, saying that a page is a “single document with its own Web address,” whereas a site is a “collection of pages with a common subdomain,” or the “xxxxxxx.com” portion of the URL. “During this initial testing period,” Google said, people can create only pages, not sites.

Google already owns Blogger, a company that enables people to create blogs. The company also recently launched a service offering hosted e-mail accounts with an individual’s chosen domain, instead of Gmail.

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died:

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible.

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked every-where, and finally I became so exhausted I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer - we’d both still be alive!

- Mmm, garlic pickles

- I really should buy the rest of the X-Files series, they may not stay cheap for long!

- Remind myself to pickup bleach