These two are sooo busted!

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy.

One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we’ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.”

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: “Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?”

The second friend says, “I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp.”

“Wow!!” the first guy exclaimed, “Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?”

“Nah,” says the second friend over his meal, “I couldn’t find her head.”

One of my co-workers (who is originally from Arkansas, just FYI) told me one day that he knew for a fact that sex feels better for women than it does for men. I asked, “How do you figure that?” His reply was (and I am not making this up!), “Because when you put your finger in your ear and wiggle it around, it feels better to your ear than it does to your finger.”

Damn, this dood almost pulled it off. I lost it when he was “bumpin” his hips.

Pulled Over

Jug

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife told him “Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat.”

The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

I soooo knew it!

Jug

Here’s a different spin on one of the creepiest movies I have ever seen. Amazing how a narrator and a lil’ positive music sheds a whole new light on things.

The Shining [9mb, Quicktime]

Jug

Way to set the mood Blaupunkt!

Jug

Hey y’all. If cleaning was this much fun, you could eat off my toilet seat:

Monitor Screen Cleaner

Jug

These two separate videos present one commonality: they both share about the same brainpower.

Enjoy…

- Truck Bail
- Phone Call

Jug