1. Bought Party of 5 on DVD
2. Met a greeter at Walmart named Billie Jean… told her “she’s not my luva”
3. Realized Bingo really was his name-o!
4. Sexually harassed myself at the office, later put myself on paid-leave until I could figure out to reprimand myself
5. Named ma’ penis “Al Roaker” cuz it’s black… I mean big… I mean who am I kidding, I’m a white dood
6. Sharted a lil’
7. Booked the sweetest Halloween costume
8. Sneezed in my helmet on the freeway, was forced to lick it clean while riding
9. Considered buying a snazzy pink tee before kicking my own ass
10. Cleared up my “Wilford Brimley” rash using a self-made remedy ointment of warming sex lube, dried tea leaves and finely-chopped rolled-oats

What can you put in a bucket full of water to make it lighter?

I wonder if Leia is lookin for work ;)

Jug

Can you think of a crime that is punishable if attempted but not punishable if actually committed?

ALWAYS REMEMBER - Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Volkswagen’s latest product probably won’t be very good on gas and it has a rather high price tag. But that hasn’t stopped a handful of people from putting down payments on the car before production started earlier this month.

Each Bugatti Veyron 16.4 will cost an estimated $1.24 million, according to media reports. For that, buyers will get an all-wheel-drive two-seat sports car with a lightweight carbon-fiber body and 16-cylinder engine capable of producing 1,001 horsepower.

VW purchased the Bugatti name in 1998, according to a report in the industry newspaper Automotive News Europe, and introduced a concept version of the Veyron at the Tokyo auto show the following year.

It has taken the intervening six years to perfect the car, according to the Automotive News report and others, and there had been doubts that the car would ever actually be sold. In a 2003 public debut at Laguna Seca Raceway, a prototype Veyron spun out of control.

In 2003, according to Automotive News, the car still suffered from two major problems: The enormous engine tended to overheat and the car, capable of top a speed of well in excess of 200 miles per hour, was unstable at high speeds. Several reports have placed the car’s top speed at about 250 miles per hour.

Hey all,

I like to buy wild and wacky tees from time to time, and get people asking where I found them. Here’s a list of the sites I source my wacky humor wrapped up in cotton linen from.

WARNING: The last 5 sites do include offensive material so suck it up!

- 80’s Tees
- Busted Tees
- Choice Shirts
- Defunker
- Funny-Shirts
- Toxic Tees
- T-Shirts.com
- DeezTeez
- Sick Idiots
- Sinful Shirts
- T-Shirt Insanity
- T-Shirt Hell

Enjoy!

Jug

You so know David wouldn’t miss a chance to shine brightly in the wake of Katrina’s devastation.

Jug

Just a week into September — historically the most active month for tropical activity — the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season has already seen 15 named storms, six of which reached hurricane strength with winds of at least 74 mph. Four of those became major hurricanes, with sustained winds of at least 111 mph.

According to the National Hurricane Center, the historical averages for a hurricane season are 10 named storms, six hurricanes and two major hurricanes. Those numbers have already been met or exceeded this season, which doesn’t end until Nov. 30.

The largest number of named storms ever recorded was 21 in 1933, a record that will be broken if just seven more storms develop in the next 12 weeks. And if that happens, the hurricane center will run out of names for the first time since it adopted the system of assigning names to storms in 1953.

The letters Q, U, X, Y and Z aren’t used, because few names begin with those letters, so the 21st and last name on this year’s hurricane list is Wilma. After that, Greek letters will be used to designate storms, beginning with Alpha.

The largest number of hurricanes ever recorded in the Atlantic was 12 back in 1969, according to the hurricane center, and the largest number of major hurricanes was eight in 1950.

“Our minds can shape the way a thing will be if we act according to our expectations.”