1. Perfected the “Bon Jovi Rock Lock”
2. Crashed 1 Bar Mitzvah, 7 store openings and an Indian Diwali
3. Went water-rafting and pee’d in a borrowed wetsuit
4. Found $0.94 in the grocery store parking lot, gave it to the shopping cart jockey and told him to let it ride at the dog track
5. Made homemade Mac & Cheese using nothing more than garden mulch, Alberto Sun-Kissed Raspberry Shampoo and carpet deodorizer
6. Sunk your battleship
7. Put Curtis Armstrong on my “Must invite to my wedding” list
8. Made out with my cat for 11 minutes
9. Pooped out a key to my 9th grade gym locker, returned it for my $2 deposit
10. Had 4 ribs removed to comfortably gain better access to more pleasurable “lick-parts”

What travels the world but stays in a corner?

Finally, the faces behind the voices… and stay away from my tongue-depressors.

Simpsons on Conan

You don’t see this very often but I attribute that to the lack of seedy Asian Cuisine places not snapping this up from the road.

No tasty cat balls masking as chicken today!

Very nice. It’s a complicated subject, gas, solar, hybrid, cost of manufacturing, conspiracy theories etc.

A step in the right direction.

Experimental Hybrid Cars Get Up to 250 Mpg - Yahoo! News

1. Rode public transit and finally realized what the difference is between “having gas” and “having bad gas”
2. Pondered being reincarnated as Garlic Bread
3. Chased an itch all over my back for what seemed like 6 hours
4. Sat on a pen, later attempted to suck out the ink like snake venom
5. Had a “tester” war with myself in a Perfume department and lost (Result: smelled overwhelmingly like sweet cinnamon with a hint of vanilla and East Coast Salmon)
6. Finally took my parents advice to “go play in traffic”
7. Bought a vowel
8. Called Dr. Phil and asked to borrow $150,000 for an emotional rescue
9. Resumed eating at Subway… set to break my consecutive-days eating there of 262
10. Triple-dog-dared some dude to take a swig of his water before paying for it, then bellow the theme from Bonanza while running out of the store exposing one nipple

I got nothing for this video. The guy can jiggy pretty well and its worth watching.

Pretty fly for a white guy

Jug

Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but easy…….
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Share this with other Women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

Now Men…

Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Head over to Aidya’s blog… scroll a bit and check out the “Hemi Powered” BBQ. It’s freakin retarded how someone can be in such tune with my needs as a man!

Jug

P.S. Djin, I gotta say this beats the Nitrogen tank beer cooler.

What are we really afraid of???

Jug