AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW

Bought My Wife

BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

DODGE

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT

Fix It All the Time

FORD

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

General Maintenance

GMC

Gotta Mechanic Coming?

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive…

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

Virtually Worthless

SON SAYS: Daddy, how was I born?

DAD SAYS: Ah, well, my son, one day you will need to find out anyway…

Mom and dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from dad’s memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed little virus appeared. And that’s the story.