Finally building the nerve to do to one of my machines what we all secretly want done to them at one point or another, Djin and I released a little stress Wednesday by opening a can of whoop ass on this piece of shit IBM ThinkPad laptop (herein referred to as “lappy”) I bought used from this shady looking guy on the back of a truck about 8 months ago.

In this situation, we felt an axe to be a suitable can opener :-)

Granted, I wasn’t expecting lappy to be a screaming rocket ship for the 20,684.57 yen ($250 CDN) I paid for her, but my regular laptop unexpectedly and inconveniently shit itself; requiring immediate, inexpensive resolution.

I figured lappy would do until I made my way into an electronics store 32 pay-days down the road but damn!!!! She was a hunk ‘o junk from the get go.

As I weep while writing this… I have a warm feeling in my heart knowing she is finally where she belongs; the compost pile in the back yard.

Who knows, maybe in another year or so I will pull out my McGyver costume from 1986, suit up, dig it out of all the dog shit and decomposing grass and duck-tape it back together.

Hmm, now that I think of it, it was a Cylon uniform from Battlestar Gallactica.

Farewell lappy, farewell indeed.

Watch the streaming footage now!